Teachers from Ellindon school will never be brought to justice

Just been told today by my solicitors in Cambridge  thats teachers from Ellindon school bretton will not face abuse charges on children at the school there was a couple who worked at school the husband used to pin myself and others on the floor a sports teacher and was a stand in head who was also my maths teacher even took me too his house even I was good when I was 14/15 yrs old  he had a roller coaster in his garden must have went around 3 times he had a lovelly home at school though he  used to crow peck us he really did hurt us I was fond of my maths teacher even came to the house of the couple who were running modelling glamour studio  to make sure everything was ok and above board he said it was all ok they were good people how wrong was I to trust his judgement that so called modelling job was not what it turned out to be that job ruined my whole life I was a 16 yrd but in the real world I am classed as an adult in social services which means what ever happens to you they do not care you an adult when you turn 16 and you are left to defend for yourself that I will never forgive them for because I am not allowed to bring charges other than the Ellindon school case  After I left childrens home I had no contact with social services at all I really needed there help but no one cared  and now listening to the news there is a lot of child abuse cases falling through the net cause social services are not paying attention and also they are under staffed

I wish i could make you proud

I will always love you my darling husband.
That night you died part of me died too.Its getter better with time Have lost weight not been able to eat alot just do not feel hungry just eat enough to survive.My problem now is I am in a style rut have no idea of what suits me plus I do not buy many things as our son comes first I spend alot of time in black trousers and top hair is getting longer and have gone back to blonde which suits me better am so scared of going forward I feel guilty but I know you would want me to move on you were my first love and taught me so much I was only 16 when we met and we got on so well I was habving problems at home and you saved me I feel like a failure I feel like I am a waste of space not being able to afford much widows parent allowance is not alot but enough for our son and bills means I come bottom of list which is right wish I could have a better life to give our son I am trying to stay positive but its all seems to be going wrong why does life have to be so cruel it should of been me that died not you only because you are clever and I feel a waste of space I miss you so much and am so lost without you.I know I am being selfish when there are people worse off and am ashamed at how I feel.Also had a hard time I was going to hospital for a colonoscpy and you were   down as my next of kin. I asked my sister as I am her next of kin as her husband works away alot going into hospital all on my own having camera up my bum it was ok in the end but you should of been with me we always went together with everything have never felt so alone I was in tears and no one to talk to but I talked to you at night to let you know what I am doing still wear wedding ring but on my right hand now and have your wedding ring on a chain with a locket my family brought me with a picture of you inside and some of your hair which I got when your son wanted to see you at the chapel of rest I asked them to cut some of your hair as I could not doo it I also popped a picture of all three of us when you were happy and healthy in your blazer pocket as thats what I picked to dress you in it was your favourite blazer.

2Years 8 months on

Its been 2Years 8 months since you passed away that Sunday night Am just coming to terms that your never coming back even though you are not here you are in my heart and spirit Have also come to terms with there was nothing I could of done about seeing any signs of your colon cancer I think I blamed myself as I was so angry and hurt and it made me feel better at the time now I know nobody could of known.I still miss you so much all our so called friends we had left me after the funeral but I made some friends on the Way Foundation forum they were with me all the way helping me understand my emotions could not have done without them I still go on forum but am slowely starting to smile again its just about taking baby steps one day at a time.I still struggle with everything still going wrong and wish when things will get better.Our son is at college and has a part job you would be proud of your son he has a girlfriend and have been together a long time.I feel odd as I am feeling lonelly and miss our hugs and laughs we had together.

mels 1972: Its been just under 15 months since husband passed...

mels 1972: Its been just under 15 months since husband passed...: Can not belive its been this long since you died yet it only feels like yesterday I miss you so much my heart is aching so much its been...

Its been just under 15 months since husband passed away.

Can not belive its been this long since you died yet it only feels like yesterday I miss you so much my heart is aching so much its been very hard trying to carry on but I have our son who needs me and I owe to him to be around he now has his lovelly girlfriend I feel so lonelly the house feels quiet would love to buy this house as its were you took your last breath that Sunday night you never know I might win the lottery this house would be the first thing I buy so you will be with me all the time I still keep your ashes in the front room you would never know as the casket looks like a jewlery box and is the same colour as the unit you are proud of place on the top with your phone ear piece you used to moan that it needed charging all the time but you were on the phone alot you always had time for every body

About Me

 

Widowed mother of a son who is doing A levels was with husband for 22 years there was a 23 year age gap which did not mater he was my best friend I do not have alot but alot of love and care to give could never afford own house my husband was very un well for years then he goes and gets cancer and within 3 months of op he died part of me died too that night heart will always be broken he was my first and only love of my life apart from our son.